.treasured.
B, you know what actually I still mind about you being very close to Yunting. I FEEL INFERIOR TO HER. It's like everytime after you meet her, you'll be talking about her. I feel like she takes up more of your mind then I do. Maybe I take up more space in your heart, but now that she's your sister, I feel you care for her more. She being your sister make me feel worse because SHE IS YOUR SISTER and it naturally means to you that being close to her means nothing big deal. But everything is possible, siblings can become a couple, why not a pair siblings that are only actually closer friends? It's not that I don't believe you. I don't believe myself. I don't believe I can keep your heart better than she can. I feel inferior, you think she's prettier, you think she's sexy, you think she's cute. What am I that she's not. I feel that she's better and that makes me feel that you'll go for the better. That's why I feel very insecure when you and her are close. And the worse thing is I don't know what can anyone do to make things better );
And you keep telling me that Ting's very vulnerable, you think she cannot get hurt. Then who spared me a thought. Though I'm strong, or whatever not, I still do get hurt. I still break down. Are you expecting me to solve it for her? I know somehow why Peng is like that. But I don't know how to solve it because I'm one of 'Yunting's victim'. I will try to talk to Peng when I found a way to convince myself that what Yumting is doing is right.
I dress up because I respect you. I don't want people to say that you've a sloppy girlfriend. I want you to be proud of me. I don't mean that you don't respect me or what not, it's just that we've different thinking. I mind what people think or say very much. I lack of a lot of confidence and security. I've been trying to 'tone down' in dressing, but that's just my style. I don't know how to change more than that. You know what? I feel that you've been changing me a lot. You expect me to actually. But I can't feel much about you changing for me. Maybe because you hide it from me :)
I'm sorry if this make you feel that I'm asking you to fo something. But I'm not. I just have to tell you before I really cannot take it any longer. I feel you should know. I'm so sorry I'm not perfect. I can only do the best to accommodate you, your thinking and everything. I'm sorry.
You're the one.
I've found the ones who are worth all my tears.
I'm not cold blooded, I'm not a saint.
I'm human, I feel, I cry.
All I need to know is find the ones who are worth my tears.
Though these few months, there've been many kinks in our sail twogether,
But because we are together, we'll pull it through.
I'm sorry for my mistakes and I'm make an effort to make things better.
Since these months, I've always thought I've lost my friends.
But I was wrong, they're there for me.
It's me who didn't go up to them.
Sorry friends for doubting, and thanks for being with me <3
Weixuan will be strong!
Can't cry in peace.
I talk on in the living room.
I can't cry.
I'm sharing my troubles with someone I can, over the phone.
I can't cry.
I sleep with my sister.
I can't cry.
I've things to do.
I can't afford to cry.
B, if you happen to see this.
Please don't get affected or whatever not,
cos this will alr something very long ago.
I don't like the feeling to get replaced.
You know, it's when you feel that you've this special bonding with this person,
And somehow, things just change and you're replaced.
When you feel that you got replaced,
will you still go back to that person who have got you replaced?
Will you still do what you used to with that special person?
I don't know about anyone else, but at least for me I won't.
It's practically 把热脸贴上冷屁股.
It's not the first time this feeling occurred in me.
But other times, I chose to keep it to myself,
And things went their way and I accept that I can't change it.
Now, I'm told to share and it makes things worse.
Bcos I believe no one will exactly the same as another.
And bcos you don't feel how I do, you can't understand.
And while explaining over and over again,
It'll only make the wound fresher.
I wish to share it with you. It'll feel better.
But can I do it when I can? I couldn't even speak properly.
And you constantly remind me I'm a burden to you.
You're constantly making me feel guilty.
Things really crop up and I really can't help.
If given a choice, I wOn't want to mess up your plans too.
I don't know how to plan our outings, not because I'm lazy.
I really have no idea where to go.
I want you to enjoy every outing you have with me,
And I'm really fine with anywhere, so I feel that w/ you planning,
You'll get to go places you want.
You knew I'm the type who can stay at home and rot.
And doesn't that tell you that I have no idea where to go?
If I knew, I won't want to grow mushrooms.
I'm happy my boyfriend's making me get out of my comfort zone.
Butt can you help me out, I don't think I can do it on my own.
You may be pekcek, but it hurts worse than everything else, when you become harsh on me.
Or at least when I think you are ];
